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Choosing the right divorce lawyer is an important step in your journey, but just as important is understanding what that lawyer can and cannot do for you. At a time when emotions are high and stakes are even higher, clarity and expectations matter.
What You Should Expect
A good divorce lawyer should make you feel comfortable, not intimidated. They should take the time to walk you through the legal process from start to finish, explaining your options in plain language and helping you understand what’s ahead. You’re not expected to know all the legal terminology or court procedures. That’s what your lawyer is for.
You should feel confident asking questions at any stage of your case. Your lawyer’s role is to provide you with the information you need to make sound decisions and to guide you based on both the law and your unique circumstances. This includes discussions around property division, custody arrangements, child support, alimony, and legal fees.
You’re paying for their time, often at an hourly rate, so make sure you’re getting your money’s worth. That means focused, undivided attention when you’re meeting or speaking, and honest feedback about the strengths and weaknesses of your case. A great attorney won’t just tell you what you want to hear. They’ll tell you what you need to hear, even if it’s hard. Lawyers are not just advocates but also counselors at law and they should counsel you with the appropriate information that you need.
Your lawyer should also be responsive. You should hear back within 24 hours from someone in the office if your attorney isn’t available. And if there’s an urgent issue, someone on the team should be ready to step in and help.
Communication should also be tailored to your needs. Whether you prefer emails you can read and re-read, or phone calls where you can ask questions in real time, your lawyer should adjust their approach to support how you best absorb information.
What You Shouldn’t Expect
That said, even the best divorce lawyer isn’t a magician. They can’t speed up court timelines, switch your judge, or make your ex a more cooperative co-parent. And while they may provide emotional support, they are not and should not be a substitute for a trained therapist or counselor.
You also shouldn’t tolerate unprofessional behavior. If your lawyer is rude, condescending, or disappears for weeks at a time without an update, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. Divorce is hard enough. You need someone in your corner who treats you with respect and keeps the lines of communication open.
In the end, a good divorce lawyer is your legal advocate, your guide through an emotionally charged process, and your protector when tough decisions need to be made. Set your expectations realistically, and make sure you have the right support for both the legal and emotional aspects of your divorce.
